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• 1. Tony Martin  |  September 26th, 2009 at 10:25 pm

  The Road to Perdition or How I learned to hate the Time Travelers Wife

  DAY ONE
  All the weeks of planning, re-planning, confirming and disconfirming are over. The August Nor’ West camp out is winding down and we will depart at 9:00 AM . An hour and a half later still winding down and ready to depart. All the cleanup is over and all the left over supplies and food have be successfully foisted on some one. Gentlepersons start your engines the great Crater Lake caravan is under way.
  Eight rigs and nine people show up at the first check point all accounted for and on time. With directions in hand we head for the Safeway store in Kelso were our overnight stay had been prearranged. Once there our campers descended on a patch of green with animals and chairs in tow. Walla instant happy hour. The cat decides to climb a tree. Fortunately it was on a short leash and the tree was small, avoiding a chance to acquaint ourselves with the local fire department. Shortly another Nor’ West member appears. It seems his job didn’t start at 10:AM today but at 10:AM tomorrow. Now we are ten! Because we had arrived early we had time on our hands. What to do? Its America of course so majority rule carries the day. We go to a movie “The Time Travelers Wife.” “To Each to his own said Elmira as she kissed the pretty brown eyed cow as pretty as you please. Now she is in the hospital with hoof in mouth disease.” With the movie ordeal over its off to dinner. When traveling with a group you encounter all kinds of epicurean discoveries. Tonight it was an ice cream sundae topped with BQ sauce. Whoops the ice cream toppings were on the right not the left. Back to the rigs to bed or Pinochle.
  DAY TWO
  We arose to find our drop-in had dropped out just as quickly. We gas up, food up. and review the route. We are back to nine and it’s off to Big Eddy and the OR-Low camp out. We successfully navigate our way thru Kelso/Longview and across the river down highway 30 to the turn off to highway 47. However if you turn one block too soon you wind up in a residential area, with bear paws painted on the street that don’t lead anywhere but are a nice distraction. Shouldn’t every trip have a few colorful side trips? Back on the real highway 47 a very scenic and very unmarked road. We finally make it to Big Eddy. We are greeted with OR-Low hugs and our site assignments. Wouldn’t you know some put a stump where one of our members would run over it, And wouldn’t you know he would deflate a tire on his trailer and bend the rim. Big Eddy is just like being on the Oregon Trail in 1849 instead of 2009, with exception that the cook wasn’t getting water for the nights coffee downstream from the camp latrine! There was no cell phone service, no internet service, and no satellite TV service. Fortunately the camp host had a land line and fortunately AAA exists in 2009 so the tire problem could be resolved. After a cordial happy hour, greeting old friends, making new friends, and trading war stories real or imagined, the decision was made to play bean bag baseball after dinner. The contest would be Washington versus Oregon! We hosted the OR-Lows to a camp fire dinner at our fire ring. They supplied the wood, we supplied the vittles. Hot dogs, marshmallows, potato salad, beans, and other fireside goodies.
  Not having ten members to match OR-Lows ten for bean bag baseball, we recruited a Slab Low who was at our Lacey event to become an honorary Nor’ Wester. We are now a full team with the name Mariners something or others. We proceed to live up to our name. You think we could at least hit the back board once in a while to save face. We finally hit something other than the showers and the final score was OR-Low 21 Nor’ West 14. The agony, the humiliation, the frustration, after a good chewing out by our coach we promised to do better in the rematch and retired for the evening. Cards anyone?
  DAY THREE
  We start our morning with the standard ritual of dog and cat walking. Followed by taking care of our personal needs to our relief and to the relief of our fellow campers. How those on the Oregon Trail could stand each other going days on end without bathing phew. The caravan had breakfast at our fire ring. One member made coffee and pancakes while others pitched in with fruit, pastries, and leftover leftovers.
  Our hosts put on a unofficial, unauthorized, illegal yard sale, which put legal tender in their club coffers, bravo a fund raiser done in the best belt way tradition. Some of our members found treasures they couldn’t live without and everyone went away happy. Ever get dish towels for Christmas that look like ones you gave someone at their wedding shower? What goes around comes around.
  We spent the rest of the day relaxing and visiting. Another happy happy hour, we were treated to seeing OR-Lows Miss Piggy contestant for the 40th Rally in some of his regalia. Nor’ West’s Rally contestant is the Phantom of the Evergreens. OR-Lows Hosted us for dinner. Baked potatoes and your choice of fixings. Enough with the congeniality and on with the much anticipated rematch.
  The Mariner what’s-a ma call-its showed up in full force and ready to play. We won the coin toss an omen of great things to come. With the bean bag baseball gods now on our side we went on to score four runs in the first. We managed to hang on and come out ahead 21 to 19. With our pride restored we bid a fond farewell to our hosts set our sights on the next part of our journey.
  DAY FOUR
  The day started with two of our group departing for Portland reducing the caravan to seven members and rigs. Only the brave dare to press on. This was followed by the unceremonious sacking of the leader because he had no CB or GPS. Alas the trials and tribulations of command. The lonely laurels of leadership had fallen on another’s shoulders. It was off to McMinnville and the Evergreen air and space museum. One member had to go to Forest Grove to pick up his new rim and remounted tire. Not to mention stopping at a park to access the internet. All are reunited at the museum for sightseeing and lunch. It’s true that Howard Hughes was an eccentric genius, and to prove it he gave the world a giant goose. Another fond farewell as one of our group departed West to the Oregon Coast. How the few keep getting fewer.
  On to Salem and down I-5 to Roseburg to spend the night at Wal-Mart, thank you Mr. Sam. The ordinance exploded overhead as we huddled in our trench waiting for the ominous sound of the whistle. Oops that’s not part of the travelogue, it’s the audio book I am listing to. We all met at the check point and were given the address for the Wal-Mart in Roseburg. Off to Roseburg, I see no one behind or ahead of me but press on to the overnight rendezvous anyway. Once arriving there I sat alone watch the time pass by like the last surviving member at a tontine. I finally broke down and made a cell call to our leader and discovered he was at a rest stop. He informed me he was having trouble with his alternator. Good news his engine was running and another member was with him. Bad news he had no idea where the others were. They hoped to join me shortly. As I got off the phone two more members showed up. They informed me they had missed the turn in to the parking lot and had come in by the rear entrance. As we sat there the sixth member called and asked for directions and we guided her in. The member who was with our leader arrived sans traveling companion. She said he was ahead of her when they turned off the freeway but had disappeared on the way to the parking lot. We tried to contact him by CB and Cell phone no Luck! Had we entered the Roseburg triangle? Our leader suddenly contacted me by phone and related his tale of woe. He was currently at a Shell station near the exit ramp. His alternator was toast and the mechanic would not be there until 8:00 AM. Two of us went to the Shell station to pick him up. Reunited we heated up the ribs and corn bread from Lacey and satisfied our nutritional needs. We took our leader back to his dry docked land yacht, returned to our rigs and bid day four a fond farewell.
  DAY FIVE
  As the dawn broke the next morning our leader called and informed us that a mechanic had arrived but was unsure if the right alternator could be found in Roseburg. He said we should go on and he would catch up. We said no way it would be all or none. We showed up at the Shell station, and managed to find parking space in the adjacent mini mall. Good news an alternator had been located. Bad news the connector wire between the engine battery and RV battery had shorted out and had to be replaced. The engine battery was registering low and would probably have to go too. More bad news the mechanic was having difficulty removing the wire and a replacement may not be at hand. Good news for the shopping center the group would have time on our hands. Good news for us there was a shaded area in the mall where we could sit. With the shopping over we sat with our pet menagerie grooming and fussing. One of our members found that a nearby salons sign “walk ins welcome” had a caveat! Latest status from our leader a battery and connector wire were at hand and installation was under way. More shopping, word came that our leader was finally road ready. Our leader graciously treated us to lunch at local eatery featuring grinders. We each split one and put our morning travails behind us on a full stomach. Off to Crater lake, can our objective be finally in sight? Wow what a trip , team precision driving, awesome scenery, and no problems. We are now at the gateway to Crater. As we head down the road to where we are to stay our leaders GPS tells us we are going the wrong way. Because another member and myself could not turn around at that spot we headed down that road. As we go a little further trying to find a turn out what shows up in front of us but the RV Park! Thank goodness the early settlers didn’t rely on GPS’s otherwise we would still be huddled up on the east coast. We go in to the RV park office, good news they can take six rigs, bad news only for one night. Since its early we decide to register and go up to Crater that afternoon. We carpool to a view point and get ready to take pictures. Bad news for our leader his camera batteries are running low. Mind photos stay with you forever but sometime they don’t always stay in focus. A great natural beauty was in front of us the trip was all worthwhile. More view points and a stop at the souvenir shop. We return to the RV park and decide to have dinner on our own and sleep it off.
  DAY SIX
  We bid farewell to one of our members who has elected to stay another night before departing for California and her family. Now down to the fearless five it’s off to Bend and the High Desert Museum. On the way a gas pit stop resulted in two members pulling off for gas, two members pulling off at a truck stop once they realized we weren’t together and the fifth merrily going on down the road. Our new new leader informed us we were supposed to stop at the truck stop for gas but neglected to tell us. Reunited once more at the truck stop headed to Bend.
  Four of us toured the Museum and had lunch, the chipmunks also joined us for lunch but neglected to pick up their share of the tab. The fifth member remained in her rig for some R&R due to a swollen Knee. While we were walking down the nature path the GPS in one of our members purse came alive and informed us we were going the wrong way. The museum was very thorough they even had a sign describing the purpose of the replica outhouse!!
  Done with nature and on the way to sisters. We arrived at the a lovely property outside of sisters the residence of one of our members kids . They had room for all and electrical hooks ups for some. One of our members had trouble with her power cord and our leader once removed volunteered to tackle the job. While he was doing his good deed the rest of us went into Sisters. Nice little town with lots of touristy shops. After shopping we stopped at the coffee house for refreshments and to admire the wood work done by our host. We return to our overnight location we found our good Samaritan had solved the problem after trying eight of nine different wiring combinations. Perseverance pays off in the end. After a congenial dinner of fresh trout caught by our host and his son it was off to bed for all.
  DAY SEVEN
  At the crack of dawn our leader once removed departed for his never ending rendezvous with the proverbial Lopez Island ferry. Some of us bid him a fond farewell some slept in. After all priorities are priorities.
  Down to the final four, it’s off to the Warm Springs Reservation. At Warms Springs we miss the turn off to the casino. Yes the road the road we are on leads to the casino, it also leads to perdition!! After several miles of hairpins, s turns, steep up and steep downs we call a halt at a pull off. We call r leader number three who has gone ahead. One of our members informs her she wants to turn around because she is afraid she will burn out her transmission on the return trip. The leader says the casino is just ahead and the other road out is better. We reach the casino and have lunch and spend an hour paying reparations for our ancestors sins with sins of our own.
  The other road out proves to be much flatter what a relief. Back on the highway and on to Portland. We take a break at the rest stop at MT Hood Summit. One of our members says her transmission is making noise and the fluid may be low. Fortunately she had a spare can of fluid and nearby by bikers were helped her put it in. Road angels come in all sizes and dress. We head to Vancouver and the RV site we plan to stay that night. It is 6:00 PM when we arrive and are greeted by a no vacancy sign. We decide to go the Safeway in Kelso where we stayed at the first night out. An so we end up where we started reduced in numbers but filled with good memories and many camp fire stories.

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